This post is, in fact, not quite like the others. It is a parody of the Old New Thing I wrote for parody week, so take it with a big grain of salt…
Commenter Contoso asked: “What’s the deal with ETC? Why is it so complicated?“
First, I will note that ETC (which stands for Coordinated Eternal Time) is in fact an international standard, having been adopted by ISO as well as national and industrial standard bodies. The specification is also documented on MSDN, but that’s more for historical reasons than anything else at this point, really. But okay, let’s discuss ETC, seeing as that’s what you want me to do.
ETC is not complicated at all if you follow from the problem to its logical conclusion. The youngest among you might not realize it, but the year 2000 bug was a Big Deal. When it began to be discussed in the public sphere starting in 1996 or so, most people laughed it off, but we knew, and always knew that if nothing was done computers, and all civilization in fact, would be headed for a disaster of biblical proportions. Real wrath of God type stuff. The dead rising from the grave! Human sacrifice! Dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria!
The problem originated years before that when some bright software developers could not be bothered to keep track of the whole year, and instead only kept track of the last two digits; so for instance, 1996 would be stored as just
96 in memory, and when reading it it was implicitly considered to have had the “19” before it, and so would be restored as “1996” for display, processing, etc. But it just happened to work because the years they saw started in “19”, and things would go wrong as soon as years would no longer do so, starting with 2000.
What happened (or rather, would have happened if we let it happen, this was run in controlled experiment conditions in our labs) in this case was that, for starters, these programs would print the year in the date as “19100”. You might think that would not be too bad, even though that would have some regulatory and other consequences, and would result in customers blaming us, and not the faulty program.
But that would in fact be if they even got as far as printing the date.
Most of them just fell over and died from some “impossible” situation long before that: some would take the date given by the API, convert it to text, blindly take the last two digits without checking the first two, and when comparing with the date in its records to see how old the last save was would end up with a negative age since it did 0 – 99 as far as the year was concerned, and the program would crash on a logic error; others would try and behave better by computing the difference with the year 1900 and the one returned by our API, but when they tried to process their “two-digit” year, which was now “100”, for display, they would take up one more byte than expected and end up corrupting whatever data was after it, which quickly led them to a crash.
And that was if you were lucky: some programs would appear to work correctly, but in fact have subtle yet devastating problems, such as computing interest backwards or outputting the wrong people ages.
We could not ignore the problem: starting about noon, 31st of December 1999 UTC, when the first parts of the world would start being in 2000, we would have been inundated with support requests for these defective products, never mind that the problem was not with us.
And we could not just block the faulty software: even if we did not already suspect that was the case, a survey showed every single one of our (important) customers was using at least one program which we know would exhibit issues come year 2000, with some customers using hundreds of such programs! And that’s without accounting for internally-developed software by the customer, and after requesting some sample we found out most of this software would be affected as well. Most of the problematic software was considered mission-critical and could not just be abandoned and had to keep working past 1999, come hell or high water.
Couldn’t the programs be fixed and customers get updated version? Well, for one in the usual case the company selling the program would be happy to do so, provided customers would pay for the upgrade to the updated version of the software, and customers reacted badly to that scenario.
And that assumes the company that developed the software was still in business.
In any case, the program might have been written in an obsolete programming language like Object Pascal, using the 16-bit APIs, and could no longer be built for lack of a surviving install of the compiler, or even lack of a machine able of running the compiler. Some of these programs could not be fixed without fixing the programming language they used or a library they relied on, repeating the problem recursively on the suppliers of these which may have become out of business. Even if the program could technically be rebuilt, maybe its original developer was long gone from the company and no one else could have managed to do it.
But a more common case was that the source code for the program was in fact simply lost to the ages.
Meanwhile, we were of course working on the solution. We came up with an elegant compatibility mechanism by which any application or other program which did not explicitly declare itself to support the years 2000 and after would get dates from the API in ETC instead of UTC. ETC was designed so that 1999 is the last year to ever happen. It simply never ends. You should really read the specification if you want the details, but basically how it works is that in the first half of 1999, one ETC second is worth two UTC seconds, so it can represent one UTC year; then in the first half of what is left of 1999, which is a quarter year, one ETC second is worth four UTC seconds, so again in total one UTC year, and in the first half of what is left after that, one ETC second is worth eight UTC seconds, etc. So we can fit an arbitrary number of UTC years into what seems to be one year in ETC, and therefore from the point of view of the legacy programs. Clever, huh? Of course, this means the resolution of legacy programs decreases as time goes on, but these programs only had a limited number of seconds they could ever account for in the future anyway, so it is making best use of the limited resource they have left. Things start becoming a bit more complex when we start dividing 1999 into amounts that are no longer integer amounts of seconds, but the general principle remains.
Of course, something might seem off in the preceding description, and you might guess that things did not exactly come to be that way. And indeed, when we deployed the solution in our usability labs, we quickly realized people would confuse ETC dates coming from legacy apps with UTC dates, for instance copying an ETC date and pasting it where a UTC date was expected, etc., causing the system to be unusable in practice. That was when we realized the folly of having two calendar systems in use at the same time. Something had to be done.
Oh, there was some resistance, of course. Some countries in particular dragged their feet. But in the end, when faced with the perspective of a digital apocalypse, everyone complied eventually, and by 1998 ETC was universally adopted as the basis for official timekeeping, just in time for it to be deployed. Because remember: application compatibility is paramount.
And besides, aren’t you glad it’s right now the 31st of December, 23:04:06.09375? Rather than whatever it would be right now had we kept “years”, which would be something in “2013” I guess, or another thing equally ridiculous.